Dear sweet common people, pour yourselves a cup of tea, and lend a hopeful ear to my wisdom. I wish to educate you a bit.
Have you heard of William E. Gladstone? He was Prime Minister of England in the late nineteenth century. You Americans were off on your own by then, doing your own thing, but I’m sure you kept tabs on your Homeland. Gladstone, known as the “Grand Old Man,” was known for championing the Home Rule Bill, which would have given Ireland self-rule, and has been cited by such great statesmen as Winston Chruchill as an inspiration. But I tell you about WIlliam Gladstone because of another reason.
These words he spoke in 1865, and with them I could not possibly agree more:
If you are cold, tea will warm you. If you are too heated, it will cool you. If you are depressed, it will cheer you. If you are excited, it will calm you.
This, dear commoners, is how I feel about tea. I hope you do as well. It soothes the soul. It warms the heart. It is everything you need. Liquid wisdom, the Chinese call it. And as you continue your walk though life, I hope you have a cup of tea by your side. Because the answers you are always seeking — to the questions you don’t even know to ask — are at the bottom of that cup.
As my young tea students edge closer in their tea education to an actual graduation from my tea shrine, the time draws near for me to prepare that most holy of time honored traditions — the Tea Ceremony.
Perhaps you have heard of this great tradition. But it is time you knew a bit more of it. Sit down and I shall enlighten you.
Your more modern ways are strange and unusual to me, but I am a man that can adapt. I have not lived so long without understanding new steps in culture. I love my magnetized stick you call a compass. I use it often when hiking through the mountains in search of new crops of tea.
I have been looking at this screen for a while, hitting the letters to spell out “TEA” every few seconds, and it seems something new comes up every time. But this most recent movie that came up was entertaining, and so I have instructed my faithful servant Oolong to place it here so that you may see.
This young girl with her strange accent seems to know a lot about science and physics. I especially admire the way she doesn’t waste the precious tea leaves, instead freeing them from the tea bag so that they may expand much more easily in the teapot. This will make for a superior cup of tea later, I guarantee.
This young one, she is going places. I must extend an invitation to her so that she may visit my Tea Temple. She clearly has the gift.
I was just checking my bank balance online (and not liking what I see, I don’t mind saying! lol) and it occurred to me that I don’t think I’ve let you in on one of my ultimate tea secrets. I use it every day, and it seems only fair that I share my tea knowledge with you.
Times are tough, right? The price of everything is going up, including tea in some places. And since tea is not a luxury but a necessity, but gas in your tank is too, you have to find someplace where we can save a bit. So here’s a little something to help you through the “economic downturn.”
You have all grown so much in these past few months under my Tea tutelage. I am quite proud of how far you’ve come. When I first met you, you didn’t know a tea leaf from a bay leaf, or the difference between loose teaand a loose knot. Why, you still thought tea was just a letter in the alphabet! Ha! We laugh about it now. But it was quite pathetic.
I wanted to tell you about an old expression relating to tea, that you will perhaps find enlightening. It is quite deep. And it has come into the popular spotlight quite recently, so now is a good time to enlighten you.
I was not always a tea master. I once was a young tea student. I once lived only on pizza and thought I never needed sleep. I wanted to rebel against the Man. I was not concerned with my health, thinking I could live forever (even without the health benefits of green tea and the rest of the teas). I once had to make teawith the loose leaves that I picked myself, because I could not afford to buy them. So I know what it is like to be low on funds.
I know times are hard economically right now. Many of my students cannot afford to buy new tea every day. I will share with you the piece of tea advice that I share with them when times are hard. Are you ready to gain some tea wisdom?
