Put down your tea and listen closely…er, read more carefully.
The Earl of Grey has something to share with you.
It seems everyone is always talking about coffee. In the movies, everyone is carrying a brown paper cup, jokes are made about how they take coffee; on television boys ask girls out for “a drink or a cup of coffee.” It’s as if tea doesn’t even exist! well, I am here to tell you that it does! And here’s proof:
Hello common people.
It is no secret that a good cup of tea is one of my favorite things. They didn’t name Earl Grey Tea after me for nothing, after all. (It wasn’t a catchy name when I first told them what to call it, BTW, and a bit of resistance had to be stamped out quickly and some say viciously.)
But as much as I enjoy a good strong black tea (though I like green tea and white teas as well, and don’t let anyone tell you differently), I do also enjoy a bit of the nectar of the gods, the fruit of the vine. And in that frame of mind, I shall tell you a bit about how tea is like wine.
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Greetings, tea lovers.
I, Earl of Grey, have taken a few moments out of my precious schedule to allow you to bask in my presence. My hot tea was too hot, and I have a moment or two before Henry pulls out the loose leaves and hands it to me. So I thought I would tell you a little bit about…yourselves.
You’ve no doubt thought as you shopped for your favorite flavored tea—“Why do I enjoy flavored tea so much?”
I have wondered that very thought. “Why do Americans prefer flavored tea?” And I think I have the solution. Heed my wisdom, for I shan’t repeat it.
Greetings peasants. I have returned from a challenging day of settling land disputes among my subjects, and find that I cannot relax. It occurs to me that you might have issues with stress in your more ordinary lives. So I thought I would share with you a bit about the calming effects of tea.
I have mentioned to you before how tea is good for you—the list of the health benefits of tea seem longer than your silly “bill of rights” at this point—but let me be more specific.
Greetings tea lovers and students of the Way of Tea. Please sit down with a pot of loose tea, pour yourself a cup, and pay attention. I shall impart to you the history of tea.
As you may have noticed, the arrogant Earl of Grey has on more than one occasion claimed credit for discovering tea. This is, of course, ridiculous. Tea has been around many more generations before the Earl was born—before his country even existed.
